Recent excavations on the site of the now extinct Restricted Loans office have unearthed a treasure trove of bulldog clips..

While a binder clip or two is common in the average office environment, this discovery is significant due to the sheer number and variety of fasteners unearthed. How and why so many bulldogs, of such a mongrel variety of sizes and shapes, came to aggregate in the darker recesses of Restricted Loans remains a mystery. Perhaps there was a fetish involved. Perhaps breeding conditions just chanced to be optimum in this area. Who knows?

The result is a Significant Resource which I now offer for tender. I have made no attempt to sort or count the clips. Disposing of them by weight, or volume, seems most appropriate. Accordingly, offers will be entertained per cubic metre, or part thereof, or by the kilo. Smaller amounts will be available on a pick-your-own basis. Bring the whole family, and a picnic.

Any clips remaining unclaimed after a reasonable period will be either sold for scrap and the proceeds offered to the Vice Chancellor to save the university, or donated to Maritime New Zealand for use on the Rena. There could well be enough bulldog clips here to clamp the cracks in the ship together, stabalizing it against breaking apart, and allowing it to be safely towed “beyond the environment” as recommended by John Clark after a similar situation back in 1991.

Jack