For many of us negative self-talk is a constant companion – that little voice in our head that tells us that we are not good enough, that even our smallest mistakes are noticed by everyone around us, and that attempts to better ourselves or try something new are doomed to failure. While we can often ignore this annoying inner critic, at times of stress and high emotion it can dominate our thinking and either prevent us from taking new opportunities or trap us in a cycle of rumination rather than enjoying all the good things going on in our lives.

There are a number of ways for managing negative self-talk, consider trying some of the following:

• Take a Third-Person Perspective: Imagine if your best friend were in your shoes, dealing with your self-doubt. What advice would you give them? We tend to be kinder and more objective when helping others, so doing this can help you step back and find solutions. You can even talk to yourself in the third person, like, “you’ve got this; don’t worry too much.”
• Zoom Out: Sometimes, we get caught up in the small details and forget the bigger picture of our lives. Ask yourself, is what you’re stressing about important in the grand scheme of things?
• Fast Forward in Time: Think about whether what’s stressing you out right now will still matter in a week, a month, or a year. This can help put things into perspective.
• Normalise Your Worries: Remember that the problems you’re facing have likely been encountered and overcome by many others, maybe even by your past self. Realising that you’re not alone in this can be comforting.
• Count Your Blessings: Instead of dwelling on what’s not going well, take moments during the day to appreciate the things that are. It can be as simple as a completed task, a delicious cup of hot chocolate, or the warmth of the sun on your skin during a walk.
• Focus on What You Can Change: When facing a stressful situation, identify what you can control and what you can’t. Concentrate your efforts on the things you can influence, like learning from a past mistake to do better next time.
• Learn from Your Mistakes: Accept that making mistakes is a part of life, and there’s no way to change the past. Instead, use your mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.

If you would like to talk to someone about this topic or anything else contact the teams below:

• Atawhai Ākonga | Student Care
• Māori Student Support
• Pacific Student Support
• Rainbow Student Support
• Student Advisors

For other tips you can check out the UC Wellbeing Instagram or the Wellbeing Hub.